SAN FRANCISCO

I am SO happy to be able to say that I HAD A BLAST IN SAN FRANCISCO!! Meaning: I FELT great!!! California cured me! I was feeling so sick the week and especially the day before we left, but every day we were there, I was feeling so normal and great! 0 anxiety, 0 headaches, 0 stomach problems. I felt so good! And then I get home and the next morning I'm feeling crappy again.. and still 3 days later feeling really really sick.. so weird right? I just don't know.. I don't get it.

But anyways, the trip was sooo much fun!! I'm so happy I went and that I was healthy while we were there!!

Here's some of my favorite photos from the trip

(Carly wrote a great post about our trip here that's really well written and more detailed)

San Francisco is a beautiful city! Very big and crowded and dirty and crazy, but still beautiful

I love this shot of the Golden Gate Bridge

Sisters at Golden Gate Bridge! (with Chase and Jackson in the background haha)

Love these guys SOO much

 

Jackson saw the carousel and just had to ride it! Which means Ashley and I got to be little kids again and ride with him!! So fun!

This was at this old military bunker thing under the bridge that was really cool but SOOO windy and cold!!

Ending our first day at the beach 

He's so stinking cute

This was at Carmel-By-The-Sea-- super pretty there

I LOVEE this photo.. I took it ;) I just think Ashley's hat and white floral top + Jackson's blue and grey outfit look so perfect!

Jackson with his grandma! 

The coolest brother in law in the world!

My favorite couple. They've grown so much together and teach me so much 

Jackson was literally in heaven at the beach playing in the sand. We were all hanging out and playing in the water while he just played in the sand for hours by himself just having the best time! He's so independent and loves to play :) 

Love my parents <3 

He's so perfect!! 

Love this picture 

Jack Jack and me on the carousel 

Muir forest!!

This was SO adorable. I was walking behind chase and jackson and jackson suddenly turns around, looks at me for a few seconds then runs to me saying "Sarah!!" and runs into my arms and snuggles me for a minute. Such a sweetheart!! I love him so much.

Such a fun trip. We had a blast. We were only there for 3 full days but we made the most of our trip by spending a day in the city doing all the touristy things, then a day in a beautiful forest in complete awe and amazement at California's redwoods and then our last day in Carmel admiring the most beautiful beach/coast we've ever seen. In between our sight seeing, we spent a lot of time hanging out at Amanda and Chase's apartment in San Jose playing games on the wii, and talking, but Mostly... playing with Jackson and watching him be THE CUTEST KID ON THE PLANET. 

Update

After 2 weeks of feeling so great on the anti-candida diet, I'm now feeling sick every day again. :(

it. never. ends. EVER.

My main symptoms the past week or so have been hot, bloated stomach; dizzy, fatigued headache feeling; and "whole body sickness" feeling.

I haven't changed anything with my diet or supplements so I don't know for sure what's going on.. (story of my life)

I emailed my naturopath and he said he thinks it's possible that the 2 strong antifungals I'm taking for candida (caprylic acid and grapefruit seed extract) were great for killing candida which is why I felt great for a little while, but then after using them for too long, they irritated my gastritis. (I have both candida and gastritis which is the worst. like candida symptoms aren't bad enough! but I'm one of the lucky few who also gets burning stomach pain, burning headaches, nausea, and acid reflux on top of feeling fatigued, weak, and tired all the time.)

So I stopped taking those two antifungals yesterday and we'll see if I feel better after a couple days or if it's something else.

He also wants me to do a food sensitivity blood panel which checks 96 different foods to find my food sensitivities and is apparently way more accurate than the one I already got from a family doctor months ago. (not looking forward to this though because I'm basically on a diet of eggs, veggies, nuts, and meat so I just can't wait to be told that I now can't have certain veggies or whatever because I have a sensitivity to them...)

He also wants to do a blood test to check my thyroid levels to see if they've improved with a supplement I've been taking and he wants to check for autoimmune gastritis. Gastritis has a number of causes but he suspects that mine is autoimmune which means it's caused by my weakened immune system.. caused by candida and I agree, I read lots of articles and concluded that it was autoimmune before he told me that so I guess we'll just check and see for sure.

(Just not sure how to cure gastritis because to cure gastritis you have to cure the underlying cause first: candida.. and to cure candida, you need a good working immune system but I don't because of my gastritis... so...)

and then he wants to do a couple other tests later too..

So I guess that makes sense why my stomach has been hot and just getting hotter and worse and more painful every day because I kept taking these irritating anti-fungals every day.. so I REALLY hope by not taking those I'll feel a lot better..

the only other explanation is a stomach ulcer.. or cancer. (scary thing is ulcers and cancer are the next step for me if I don't improve.. my terrible eating habits, stress, and antibiotics led to candida, my candida led to food sensitivities and a weakened immune system, my weakened immune system led to gastritis... gastritis leads to ulcers.. ulcers lead to stomach cancer... but I'm really taking care of my health really good by eating so healthy and taking lots of great vitamins and supplements so it hopefully will never lead to that.)

I shouldn't be updating my blog right now haha because I'm seriously in the worst mood.. I feel so sick today. I felt pretty good all day yesterday but then after dinner, my stomach was SO bloated and hot but that was it and then in the middle of the night I wake up feeling queasy and sick and then this morning feeling REALLY sick and nauseas and weak and gross.. It's so annoying how much your gut health affects your mental health. If I feel sick, I am negative, angry, depressed, anxious, irritable, etc. etc. but I'm trying to be more patient and positive, it's just hard on days like these.. which is.. like.. every day. (just kidding, I really have been feeling better.. see what I mean?! I'm so negative today just because I don't feel good!! But I really have been feeling so much better the past month overall, just this week is so messed up for some reason!)

We're going to California tomorrow.... Oh how I miss the days when vacations used to excite me SO much.. now I just dread them. I do NOT want to feel like this on vacation.. IF this continues and I keep feeling worse every day, I'll most likely be staying in the hotel all weekend while my family does fun stuff and hangs out with my sister and her family, or I'll be forced to go everywhere even if I feel sick and then just be sitting on benches or leaning against walls while everyone is energetic and healthy and having a grand old time while I just wish I was in bed.

(something healthy people don't understand is nothing, absolutely NOTHING is fun when you feel really sick. My family is always telling me, "just come with us, if you're sick, better to be sick there than sick at home!!" No.. I'd rather be sick at home laying in bed, comfortable and taking care of my health, not out using the little energy I have and just feeling worse! or "come on, I PROMISE it will be fun if you come, I've been to this place, you're going to love it" Yeah I'm sure I WOULD love it IF I FELT GOOD. but I don't. so nothing is appealing to me when I feel like this.)

Ok I should be more positive now. I really hope I feel better tomorrow and I'm going to try anything I can think of to get some relief for my symptoms today like fresh ginger tea, activated charcoal, acid block vitamins, lots of water, rest, etc.

Crossing my fingers tomorrow and this weekend I'll be feeling good and have a blast in SAN FRANCISCOOO!!!!!!!!!! :)

My Favorite Candida Diet Snacks

I've been experimenting with recipes a lot lately since I'm officially on the anti-candida diet now and I've actually found a few that I love that I thought I would share!

First of all though, if you aren't on a super healthy or restrictive diet, these snacks might be seriously disgusting to you.. I know I never would have eaten anything without sugar or white flour in it a year ago, but now that I can't eat much, these all taste SO good to me. haha it's funny how your taste buds change with dieting!

Alright here's my favorites:

>>side note: none of these pictures are mine.. (I always eat everything before I think to take a pic haha) but these are pictures I found on google that seriously look EXACTLY like what my recipes looked like. :)

1. Brown Rice Cake with Almond Butter and Salt

RECIPE: Lundberg plain brown rice cakes, Justin's original almond butter, and salt

>>This is the easiest snack to grab when I want something fast to fill me up. I just use Justin's PLAIN almond butter (have to be careful with making sure there's no sugar added) and spread it on a plain lundberg brand brown rice cake (brown rice is one of the few grains I'm allowed on this diet). Almond butter is so much better for you than peanut butter and Justin's is a great brand with lots of different flavors!

I also like to sprinkle a little salt on top because, I don't know, it just tastes better like that haha :)

2. Celery with Almond Butter

Another easy, yummy snack. I hate celery plain, but I LOVE it with something on top so I love this

3. Homemade Hummus

>>This stuff is SOOO good!!! I've never made hummus or even eaten any type of hummus before but this stuff is so tasty and gets me eating tons of veggies with it all day. I love sliced cucumbers or carrots with it best :)

RECIPE: I used a recipe I found on pinterest called pizza hummus, only I made it a little different because one of my temporary food allergies I have thanks to my candida is tomatoes.. but I love it the way it turned out so it's all good

Ingredients 

• 1 - 16 oz chickpeas, drained and rinsed well
• 1 Tbsp Italian seasoning
• 2 cloves fresh garlic
• 1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
• 1 Tbsp lemon juice
• 1 Tbsp organic extra virgin olive oil
• 1/2 tsp fine sea salt
• dash black pepper

Instructions: 

>> I just threw everything in my blender and pulsed it on the lowest speed over and over again. It sticks to the sides and won't blend well unless you keep stirring it up and scraping it off the sides and VERY CAREFULLY push down on it with a spoon while it's blending. (Don't stick the spoon too far down or it will hit the blade...hehe I made that mistake twice and it scared the crap out of me) 

You don't have to be on an anti-candida diet to like this recipe. My whole family loves it too and it's the best snack to take to work or hiking or whatever to fill you up during the day and is so much better than just eating plain veggies! 

Also, not only is this a great healthy snack, but it also uses fresh garlic which is a natural anti-fungal, so it's also really good for fighting candida!

4. Flaxseed Crackers

Ingredients:

• - 2 cups ground flaxseed (you can buy it pre-ground or grind whole seeds in a coffee grinder)
• - 1 cup water (start with 3/4 c. and add more as needed to make a workable dough)
• - 1/2 tsp salt
• - 1/2 tsp garlic powder
• - 1/2 tsp onion powder
• - 1 teaspoon rosemary (I added this ingredient. Rosemary is my favorite)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a large bowl, combine all the ingredients and mix until an even dough forms. Spread evenly onto a parchment or silicone lined baking sheet - about 1/8-1/4 inch thick. Gently cut dough into squares on the baking sheet (you just need to score the dough so it snaps after it's baked. Bake for 20-30 minutes until crisp and edges are browned

>> Ok so I've made these 3 times now and the first time, I didn't have a no-stick baking mat or a rolling pin so I used wax paper and my hands to spread it so they ended up being way too thick and then the wax paper wouldn't come off of them after they were cooked (duh, don't know what I was thinking) so it didn't work and then the next time I made them, they got completely burnt.. but I'm glad I didn't give up because once I got a no-stick baking mat (most amazing invention ever! Why have we never had one of these before?!) and a rolling pin, I made them PERFECT the 3rd time. They were so crunchy and delicious!! I LOVE these. The only thing I don't like is that this recipe doesn't make enough! They're always gone 3-4 days after I make them and then I have to make more so that stinks, but a bonus with these is flaxseed are a highly nutritious superfood so they're really good for you and they taste great!

5. Coconut Bread

I just made this today and it's a great snack! It was SO easy to make and is surprisingly filling and tasty!

INGREDIENTS

• ½ cup coconut flour
• ½ cup buckwheat flour
• ½ cup coconut milk (use only the creamy part on the top)
• 5 eggs
• 2 Tbsp. coconut oil
• ½ tsp. sea salt
• 1 tsp. aluminum-free baking powder (I didn't put this in mine because it has corn starch in it and I can't have corn)
• Stevia, to taste

DIRECTIONS

1. Blend together the eggs, coconut oil, stevia and salt. 
2. Now add the coconut flour, coconut milk, buckwheat flour and baking powder, and whisk until you don’t see any lumps.
3. Pour into a loaf pan greased with coconut oil and bake at 175C (350F) for 30 minutes.
4. Now the top of the loaf should be firm and a light golden color, and you can remove from the oven and allow it to cool.

>> Coconut oil is another natural anti-fungal for fighting candida so this is another recipe that is a yummy snack that also contains ingredients that will help me get better! So from a non candida person's point of view, this bread doesn't really taste like much and is kind of bland and boring, but from a person -- who hasn't had any bread or any kind of baked good since I don't even remember.. December last year??--'s point of view, this tastes great to me and is a perfect snack to fill me up. :) 

So there you have it! These are my favorite snacks right now. As long as I take the time to prepare snacks for the week and always have something to snack on, I don't feel like I'm on a crazy restrictive diet or like I'm starving all day. I've been on this new diet for almost 2 weeks now and so far, I'm feeling a lot better and more energetic and have only had 1 or two "not as great" days, but no really sick days yet! 

I also haven't been feeling nearly as anxious anymore and have been feeling energetic enough to go hiking in Draper almost every day last week, but then I caught a cold, so this week I'm staying in and getting better. But I'm feeling really positive and happy every day so it feels great to actually see results from all my efforts with dieting and supplements every day. :)

Hope everyone is having a great week! 

What is Candida?

After months of doctor visits, blood tests, new supplements, restrictive diet, and hours of research, and some, but little improvement, I am now 85% sure that my main problem is CANDIDA OVERGROWTH. Even though my naturopath has confirmed this, I've still been unsure since I'm still feeling sick every day, but after hours of research on candida, it's the only thing that makes sense anymore.

So I thought I'd write a post about what candida even is and why it's so hard to get rid of, for those who might be curious.

What is Candida? 

Candida albicans is a yeast- a kind of fungus and 70% of people have this yeast in their bodies. It is normally kept under control by the healthy bacteria that live in our gut, so the candida itself isn't the problem initially, however, any fluctuations in the internal bacterial environment which influence our immune health can enable the yeast to grow past its tipping point, thus causing these once harmless strains of candida to become pathogenic and start invading the mucosa and causing significant damage (leaky gut, food allergies, digestive problems, etc.)

A candida overgrowth releases all kinds of toxic byproducts into your system and causes a wide variety of symptoms.

The reason candida gives you all these symptoms and makes you feel sick is because "As the yeast feeds it also metabolizes. The by-products left behind from the yeasts' feast are perhaps more dangerous to your health than the yeast itself. These are toxic chemicals and dead yeast cells classified as mycotoxins (little fungal poisons) that can be released into your bloodstream." -Ricki Heller, author of "Living Candida-Free" (a book I just bought on amazon a few days ago that explains what candida is and has a 3 stage program for getting rid of it with 100 great recipes)

What are the symptoms of Candida overgrowth?
These are just some of the many symptoms of candida: (and my main symptoms)

• Digestive problems
• Fatigue
• Headaches
• Anxiety
• Brain fog
• Weakened immune system
• Skin irritations
• Multiple food allergies.

(There are a bunch of online quizzes you can take to see if you have candida overgrowth based on your symptoms-- Here's one I like that I'd recommend:

Candida Assessment Questionaire

My Results:

Your total score is 157

MILD - 35 to 55

MODERATE - 55 to 85

SEVERE - 85 and higher

If you think that's an insanely high score, it's actually gone down about 30 points since I took this test a few months ago.

So I have very severe candida.. and it definitely feels like it too with my awful symptoms I have every single day.

What causes a candida overgrowth?

• SUGAR: candida cells feed on sugar in all forms: fruits, sweeteners, starchy vegetables, etc. 

• ANTIBIOTICS: destroy the good bacteria that live in our gut

• STRESS: stress raises your blood sugar levels and damages your immune system by weakening your adrenal glands

So how do you treat candida?

1. DIET
- eliminate all processed carbs, starchy vegetables, grains, sugars, and processed meats

So here's what I eat: eggs, celery, carrots, cucumbers, homemade hummus, homemade flaxseed crackers, homemade roasted chickpeas, crock pot turkey, chicken, steak, pecans. (I set a whole day aside last week to trying new candida recipes and loved every one so I'll have to share my recipes in another post because my homemade hummus and roasted chickpeas and crackers are great snacks)

But yeah, that's it. No more fruit for me. I eliminated sugar, grains, and starches in January so every time I get stricter with my diet, it's hard because I hate giving up even more things when I already feel like I can't eat anything, but the more restrictive I get, the more I crave fruit or yogurt instead of chocolate or candy. So what I'm trying to say is it's really hard still, but it's hard because I want my fruit not because I'm so mad I can't have cake or pizza today.. I got over that stuff a long time ago :)

2. ANTIFUNGALS
Some good antifungals are: caprylic acid, grapefruit seed extract, colloidal silver, aloe vera juice, apple cider vinegar and coconut oil)

3. PROBIOTICS
Probiotics crowd out the candida yeast, regulate your gut acidity, and boost your immune system
(I'm taking theralac probiotic right now)

4. REDUCE STRESS
Not only is reducing your stress levels good for helping you simply cope with such a strict lifestyle and health challenge, but it's also a vital part of getting rid of candida

When you eliminate sugars, grains, starches, etc. from your diet and take antifungals to kill candida, you experience a die-off reaction because when the yeast dies, it releases toxins into your body.

So basically, I feel sick if I don't kill the candida, and I feel sick when I do kill the candida.. but if you don't take care of it, the damage it causes to your intestines, immune system, etc. will eventually lead to ulcers, cancer, and other serious consequences, so even though it takes 3 months-over a year to get a candida overgrowth under control, it's worth it to not only make you feel so much better but also to prevent it from leading to something even worse than it already is.

I'm not a very patient person, so one of the hardest parts of chronic illness for me is not getting results instantly. But it takes a LONG time to get rid of candida and every little mess up, like if I eat a banana today, it's going to be that much harder to get rid of it because as long as I feed it anything sweet, it just grows and grows. It's basically like a cancer.. So I've had to learn to be a lot more patient and accept that it's going to take a while.

So anyways,  I'm officially on the strictest anti-candida diet now as of a few days ago (I had to eliminate cheese, rice, oats, and fruit from my already restrictive diet) and it's really not that bad, because I've slowly gotten more restrictive and more disciplined every month the past year so I'm used to eating this way.. the only hard part now is still feeling sick all the time.

But if I stick with this diet for the next few months or longer, take my antifungals and probiotics daily and try to reduce my stress levels by not dwelling on the fact that I went from working 3 jobs and having $10,000 in my bank account a YEAR ago to now being sick every single day, having no job, no money, a car payment every month, and SCHOOL to pay for and be healthy for in 3 months, *deep breath* THEN I will be all better and I will finally be able to take all I've learned from this beautiful trial and use it for good. :)

Happy Monday!

Sunday Soliloquy and Health Update

I found a short article on faith this week that I love and that really helped me get through another sick week, so I thought I'd share it today on this beautiful Sunday.

The Power of Faith

By Amber Barlow Dahl

If Heavenly Father were to free us from our challenges simply because we asked, He would deny us the very experiences necessary for our salvation.

One year in college, I was taking a test when my neck began to hurt. The pain didn’t go away when the tension of the test had passed. I consulted with doctors and therapists and tried a variety of treatments, but still the pain continued. Over the next year, as I struggled to cope with this pain, I also struggled to increase my faith. I spent much time in prayer, I studied the scriptures, and I asked for priesthood blessings. I felt that if I just had enough faith, I would be healed.

Jesus Christ healed the sick, the blind, the lame, the leprous—“according to [their] faith” (Matthew 9:29). I knew He had the power to heal me as He had so many others during His mortal life. I concluded, therefore, that only my lack of faith kept me from being healed, so I redoubled my efforts. While I continued with physical therapy, I prayed and fasted and studied and believed. Yet my pain persisted.

The scriptures teach us that with faith we can work miracles (see Matthew 17:20), yet I could not be relieved of this minor suffering. Where was the power in my faith? Finally, I quietly accepted my situation, found ways to cope with my discomfort, and became content to save full understanding of faith and healing for a future time.

Years later I was talking with a friend who had struggled with terrible nausea that had sent her to the hospital more than once during her first pregnancy. Erin wanted to have another baby, but she was terrified that she would have to endure the same discomforts she had faced with her first pregnancy. She told me that she had been fasting and praying and that she really believed Heavenly Father would not ask that of her a second time.

As we talked, I recalled the scripture, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). I thought of my own experience in learning to be still in the midst of affliction and urged Erin to continue to have faith but not to make that faith dependent on whether or not she experienced nausea with her next pregnancy.

As I continued to study the principle of faith, I turned to Alma’s discourse on faith in which he teaches that “if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true” (Alma 32:21).

Pondering this scripture, I discovered that faith wasn’t what I thought it was. Faith, Alma teaches us, is hope in true principles. To have faith does not mean we believe our Heavenly Father will always give us what we ask for when we ask for it. Having faith that Christ would heal my neck or that He would grant Erin a nausea-free pregnancy is not having faith in true principles. However, we can have faith that Christ has the power to heal, that He is mindful of us, that He will strengthen us, and that if we endure well, we may qualify for eternal life.

The Lord promised, “Whatsoever thing ye shall ask in faith, believing that ye shall receive in the name of Christ, ye shall receive it” (Enos 1:15). I believe the power in this promise lies in the counsel to believe “in the name of Christ.” The Bible Dictionary entry on prayer teaches us: “We pray in Christ’s name when our mind is the mind of Christ, and our wishes the wishes of Christ—when His words abide in us (John 15:7). We then ask for things it is possible for God to grant. Many prayers remain unanswered because they are not in Christ’s name at all; they in no way represent His mind but spring out of the selfishness of man’s heart.”

When we ask in faith for something that is in accordance with the will of God, He will grant us according to our desires. Heavenly Father knows us, loves us, and desires everything necessary for us to return to His presence. And sometimes that includes trials, troubles, and challenges (see 1 Peter 1:7). If Heavenly Father were to free us from our challenges simply because we asked, He would deny us the very experiences necessary for our salvation. We must learn to trust in God’s plan for us and submit our will to His. As we align our desires with His desires and acknowledge our complete dependence on Him, we may qualify to receive “the end of [our] faith, even the salvation of [our] souls” (1 Peter 1:9).

I loved this article. In the past, I've been really confused and frustrated when it seems like everyone in church who gets up to bear their testimony or people giving talks always PROMISE us that if we read our scriptures and pray daily, then everything will be all better right away.. The more I've heard this, the more my faith has decreased because I think, "But I'm doing that and it's not working! I'm praying and studying my scriptures every single day, but I'm still sick!" 

But this talk explains perfectly what it really means to have faith and I wish we were taught this more in church. When I align my will with God's will and have an eternal perspective, suddenly it doesn't matter at all that I'm sick or that I don't know exactly how or when I'll get better. What matters most are the relationships in my life.. am I nice to my family? Do I serve and love them and strengthen my relationship with each of them? Am I a true disciple of Christ? Do I endure to the end and follow the principles of the gospel? Am I selfless? If I do these things, then no matter what challenges are thrown my way, as long as my will is aligned with God's will, I will qualify for eternal life which is the only thing that really matters, not what my current problems are. It would be so nice to not have to be sick or deal with this trial, but everyone has trials for a reason: to help us learn and grow and as long as I endure to the end and have true faith, then everything really will be ok.

(I should mention.. this obviously isn't what everyone in the world believes, it's just what I personally believe.)

Health update: 

I got my wisdom teeth taken out a week and a half ago. I was feeling sick the few days before the surgery and pretty bad the morning of, but still went so I wouldn't have to reschedule for the 3rd time.. Greatest experience EVER. haha The laughing gas and drugs they put me on slowly took ALL the pain out of my body and made me feel so good and relaxed. I was on strong pain meds for about 5 days after and I was in heaven.. I forgot what it felt like to have absolutely NO feeling in my stomach, chest, or head. Even on my "good" days now, there's still something off in my head or I feel queasy and sick at some point during the day, but I felt NOTHING. It was amazing. 

I totally knew the day I stopped taking the pain meds, I would probably feel AWFUL again especially since I was taking antibiotics (which basically reverse my candida cleanse..) and I did. I had I think 3 or 4 days of feeling pretty dang awful.. The first day I was in bed all day which was hard because I HATE sitting all day long.. Even if I don't feel great, I'm always moving and working on something all day long. I can't ever sit and watch tv all day. So it stunk, but I tried to remember how great I felt during my wisdom teeth recovery to motivate me to be able to feel that great again someday.. (not high obviously, but just not having any gross feeling anywhere in my body and feeling good and energetic haha) I read The Help this week and loved it so much, so that was fun and helped me have a good week. 

Oh the weather has been AMAZING here in Utah so I've been spending a ton of time outside whether it's a bike ride, walk to the park with Jersey, walk around the lake, exploring Utah parks and canyons (if I'm feeling really good), or just sitting on our front porch reading. I love our porch.. I always wanted one. It's the best. 

So I started feeling a lot better after those few days feeling sick and I went and bought an expensive but highly recommended (by my doctor and lots of online reviews) probiotic that I started taking a few days and it seems to be making a difference so that's good. I'm trying to be better with my diet-- LESS fruit.. that's my biggest problem right now. fruit is the sweetest thing I can have in my diet (I haven't had any sugar, honey, agave for months) so I tend to eat a lot more fruit than I'm allowed cuz I hate only eating bland things all day and am always craving SOMETHING a little sweeter! But if I want to get rid of this candida, I HAVE to eliminate fruit out of my diet.. not going to be easy.. but I'm so done being sick. 

So yeah, I was feeling pretty good and improving every day the past 4-5 days, but then yesterday I made these "candida diet chocolates" with cacao powder, coconut oil, stevia, and vanilla and ate like 6 and was so sick last night.. ? Like what the heck? I didn't fall asleep until 4am and was just laying on the ground next to the bathroom for hours watching TV because I felt like I had the stomach flu.. but I didn't so I have no idea if it was the chocolates that made me sick? But they shouldn't have since it's ingredients I'm allowed to eat but maybe because I ate too many or because I added things into my diet I haven't had before?? I have NO clue, but I felt SO sick and I'm feeling a lot better this morning, but still like I got hit by a truck so I will be spending the day relaxing at home.

My plan is to take these supplements my doctor has me on for my vitamin deficiencies: (MonoDEA, vitamin D, cytozyme, armor thyroid), take this probiotic every day, Be better with my diet, and try Diatomaceous Earth to kill candida. 

I'm excited for this new month, I've done more research, thought about the things I need to improve on, I have my plan ready and I'm hopeful that this will hopefully be a great month. :)

16 Things People with Chronic Pain/Illness Want You to Know

I was just looking through Facebook a few minutes ago when I came across a link that my friend liked that said, "16 things people in chronic pain want you to know," so I clicked on the link, read through it, and I just had to share it on my blog because this is SPOT ON people. Enjoy.

-- I originally copied and pasted the article, but I just noticed that the pictures weren't showing anymore so I'll just share the link. You can find the article here

This whole thing explains exactly how I feel! I especiall

loved the part that said: "people tend to underestimate
 other people’s pain. This may be because chronic 
pain/illness itself is difficult to imagine, 
especially if you have never experienced it firsthand."

Sometimes when I'm feeling sick, I'll just look at my family 
and say, "I just really wish you guys could feel how I'm 
feeling RIGHT NOW. like you have NO IDEA how sick I 
feel and even when I tell you, you probably are picturing it
being not as bad as it really is." 

Chronic Illness sucks! I wonder how many people in the 
world have chronic pain or illness.. I hope not a lot because 
it's such a hard thing to go through!! 

Because of Him

I love this video SO much. It's so beautifully made and makes me feel so inspired and feel so much love and gratitude towards my savior. Because of Him, I am not alone and my weaknesses can become strengths.

Happy (late) Easter!!